Whether you realized it or not, you might have put someone in the friend zone. There are also people who have delved so deep in the friend zone, that there are even steps on how to escape the friend zone.
The friend zone has then become defined as a status. A status whereby you try to enter into a relationship with someone, but the other person has different expectations. The mutual exchange of needs and wants isn’t met and someone ends up getting hurt and left behind.
Why do we get friend zoned?
The internet has many guides like this one, which are very male oriented, leading to the idea that only guys get friend zoned. However this is completely untrue. Girls also frequent the friend zone, albeit less so than guys.
We are introduced to the friend zone during our adolescence, where we possess little experience about social encounters. We are too forward with our actions and we don’t realize that subtlety is more effective. It’s apparent as we grow older. We court differently, and women especially, give subtle signs to men.
For a time, we wonder why we’re being rejected and why feelings aren’t being reciprocated. We are caught up in impressing the other person and we end up trying too hard.
It’s in human nature to do things for the person we want. But it’s also in our nature to take what we can get. This is a crucial point since many people are eager to get into relationships and tend to give too much of themselves. So, the other person clearly has the upper hand and is able to exploit the situation.
If you’ve been friend zoned many times, then your approach has to change. If it doesn’t, your efforts will be in vain. At the beginning, you don’t know if you’re in the friend zone yet, which is why time is the biggest casualty. It’s the most important resource you’ll never get back. The more time you spend being there for this person, the more you enforce the idea of you being nothing more than a friend.
It’s better to just meet new people and move on, or avoid the friend zone altogether.
What’s a guy’s experience with the friend zone?
The first trip to the friend zone is courtesy of your high school crush. Texting, four-hour long phone calls, along with occasional hangouts and study sessions are the norm. Then comes the day you decide that you need to express your feelings. You evaluate your options and decide to spill the beans; while unbeknownst to you, a dreaded sentence awaits.
It’s the kiss of death and the last nail in the coffin; the affirmation of your entry into the friend zone. If tomorrow is the mystical place where 99% of all human productivity is stored, then the friend zone could very well be where 99% of good guys are found…
To the girl who has friend zoned too many times
Years later, you’ll be standing next to the guy you friend zoned long ago, and you’ll ask: “I can’t find the good guys anymore, where have they gone?”
Enter obnoxious best friend: “90% of guys are either jerks or taken,” or “all guys are the same.”
Really? Did you try them all? (I hope not.)
Surely your BFF can give you better answers.
We might not be perfect, and most of us are better off living in snow globes boasting about how muscular we are. But there’s still that 10% who could be the men you are looking for. The men who are willing to sacrifice Call of Duty sessions and UEFA Champion league games to spend time with you.
These were the men who were genuinely there for you, but they’ve been left in the friend zone.
So next time when you’re browsing Tinder, swiping left or right, browse your gallery instead. You might just realize that “the one” has been standing next to you all this time, and you’ll be contributing to a guy’s escape from the friend zone – the greatest escape there is.